Come fly away with me...

2003-04-09T20:17:00.000-05:00

blog has moved permanently to http://www.beyondazure.com/mt/azure please update all links...i will keep this here for future reference...thank you and may love shine upon you...

2003-04-08T09:28:00.000-05:00

tired, tired, tired...

ok, so i'm frickin' tired ovah heah...i have 2 readings to do today, and if i get no new orders, i'm takin' a break... i have a new tarot deck on order...hopefully it will arrive tomorrow (today would be better, but i think it will get here tomorrow)... i have things i wanna change on the new blog thingy, and i don't know how to change them...verrrry frustrating... for the helluvit, i downloaded movable type...but their installation instructions are more than a bit intimidating...(reminds me of when i installed ikonboard onto the old site) ...plus the fact that i do not know how to access the shell of my site, making it that much more difficult...i liked my other webhost better...it was easier to work with...this one is for idiots who know nothing of the internet, and it's very frustrating...so, i have to modify stuff through my FTP thingy, and THAT'S annoying...ugh...it's not my day i got 5 books yesterday that i ordered from onespirit.com...i'll try to list them later...i'm too tired... i keep yawning, so that's not good, and my eyes are all watery even though i've been up for over an hour...anyway, i'm gonna email the bastages that run the blog thing and see if i can change stuff...i'll cya when i cya...

2003-04-07T10:32:00.000-05:00

movin' on up...

the blog is moving...i have new edition in the works...stay tuned for updates!

update

if you want to view the work in progress...go to: http://www.beyondazure.com/journal/azure.php not sure if i'm going to move all the other silly shit i have on this blog to that one (i.e., the zonkboard, my blogroll...) i suppose i should move the blogroll, at least...anyway...that's all for now...more updates to come!

2003-04-06T22:59:00.000-05:00

well...i don't know what to say...

i'm gonna take down this blog...yeah, i said it...it's gonna be history...i check my stats daily (basically just to see who visits me...i recognize most of my friends' visits this way) and i usually go by "referral url"...i can't take all the google hits for the nasty crap i mentioned in a previous post...so, i'm gonna download my archive and hit "delete" on this edition of my journal...i really don't know if i will make another public blog...i love writing, don't get me wrong...but i think i need to go back to square one and start writing in a "real" journal again...you know...like, on paper? ;) i just don't know what i want to do yet, but rest assured, for those that i visit to read about MY life (not to look for disgusting pics), i will keep you updated on my decision...it makes me so sad now to visit my stats on sitemeter and see all of that garbage...i don't have the heart for it...so, be that as it may, i wish you all the best in the world...i will still be able to be reached by email...bookmark my website, if you are interested in my jewelry or a reading...ok? :) and now, for something more lighthearted...

free readings...yeah, you heard me...free! heh

so, i've been experimenting w/some new tarot spreads recently, and have come across one that i would really like to offer on my website...however, i need more "practice" w/it before i will feel comfortable enough to charge people for it...hehe...so, here's the deal:

it's a relationship spread...so, only those actually in a relationship need apply
i will be able to provide 5 readings (time permitting)...i will email those i choose & update when the quota is filled
please do not give me too much info! all i really need is both names & that's it!! no, "he did this", "she does that" stuff, ok? ;)
please allow me at least 3 days to complete the readings once i have informed you that you were chosen...

i think that's it! please email requests to freetarotbyazure@hotmail.com...thanks! and i'll cya when i cya!

2003-04-05T13:58:00.000-06:00

i think i am letting myself become too sensitive again...

because things like this really make me sad, sickened, and incredulous... the story is about a vegan couple in NY recently convicted of practically starving their child...malnourishing their baby...the little girl, at 15 months, could not sit up, could not crawl, could not walk...the child had NO TEETH!! i can't even go further b/c it just kills me that people would do this to their child...i understand they have a belief, i understand they were following THEIR choice of being vegans and not consuming animal products...but as humans, do we not breastfeed our babies w/our own milk? what happened to that? what about all the soy formulas out there? if they didn't want something like regular milk...the child was so malnourished she was too weak to even cry...they say the couple could get as much as 25 yrs each...honestly, i can't say i wish it was more...or less...i just feel so much for this little child...what did she do to deserve such a rough start?? *sigh* yeah, colour me sensitive today... cya when i cya...

2003-04-04T10:30:00.000-06:00

so, what have i been up to lately?

well, the site is up (you may have noticed it listed under services to your right) and i'm getting orders for tarot readings, so i think that's really cool...even got an order for an aura reading the other day, which is tres faboo...i got the newsletter set up, got the usernames/passwords created (i decided to make it password protected this way access to the discounts and such would only be available to members of the mailing list)...i'll probably set up input for people to choose their own username & password eventually, but for now it will be a shared password...have to make this months page though, so i have something to show for it, eh? ;) anywho, i need to order more materials for the jewelry thing...i think i'm ready to start showing off my work, just have to get enough stuff to make some killer pieces...i even have a request for a piece already (see, jen! you knew that one first!! ;) hehe) so, that is major good news...the girl that requested it is one of my most staunchest supporters...Jen, you rock!!!! :-D she even wrote a killer testimonial for me for the site (have to make that page today...see, more stuff you knew, Jen! heh)...anyway, that's THAT news... in other news, i've been frequenting a forum for people who are interested in/read tarot...it has been amazing so far...so many knowledgeable people on the subject, i've learned alot from them, and hope i've been able to provide good input there as well...i've been debating creating an online course for learning the Tarot...or at least creating a discussion list for those interested in discussing it...not sure which way to go, so we shall see...i don't know how good of a teacher i would be...but it's something i've been guided to look into, so that's what i'm doing... i've been really happy lately ('cept for the funk around my bday) and i'm not questioning it...i'm going w/the flow and i'm hoping the rest of you are enjoying your particular "rides" as well...hopefully gonna make a trip to the coast soon...need it badly...take care everybody...i'll check back in wit'cha later...cya when i cya!

2003-04-03T01:09:00.000-06:00

sorry if this is your first visit to my blog...

and you had to read that entry down below...i will make an effort to control my foul language from here on in...hopefully, whatever sick bastards find me now will get the message before they even click the link...i'm hoping... well, it's time for bed...my back is killing me and i'm tired...i made a newsletter thingy for the website...gonna have discounts and good stuff like that...but for some reason, it's not loading even though i've added it...meaning the new stuff isn't loading on the intro page...the other stuff i added is all there...works like a charm too...i feel so professional...hehe... ok...ni'night...cya when i cya!

2003-04-02T18:39:00.000-06:00

ok, i'm seriously pissed off now, so be prepared for the rant...

to the sick motherfuckers who keep googling my blog looking for incest pics, you are disgusting, you are foul, you are scum...no, wait...scum is too good for you...you are the putrescent piss on the bottom of scum....you are not human, do you hear me!?!?! you all deserve long painful torturous deaths at the hands of some backwater redneck (picture Deliverance here people) toothless sicko named Bobby Joe...Billy Bob...or whateverthefuck...i hope you all suffer a hideous painful cancer-ridden death...ptui!

if you are wondering where this comes from, it is b/c of the rant i did a short while ago wherein i stated (and i will quote it b/c then they will find this entry when they google...bastages) that my father fucked me, my mother fucked me, etc....it was "fucked me over" you morons!! i get numerous hits daily for people looking for incest pics...but the worst came today...just a short while ago...some revolting putrid piece of slime did a search for "baby daughter fuck with father"...i have this sonofabitch's IP, and if i were a nicer person i wouldn't fuck w/them...as it is, i will sic hacker friends on his ass...piece of dogshit that they are...this is all...to all sick pedophile incest-loving perverts out there, do not visit my blog...i have your IP addresses and there will be hell to pay...

that is all...end transmission...

2003-04-01T11:35:00.000-06:00

this is what happens to naughty visitors...

who don't leave comments...you get bombarded w/silly questionnaires...hahahaha...i'm so evil... questionnaire stolen from Heather

Age: 31 (duh)
Sex: yes, and often
Location: texas...or 4th rim of hell...whichever you prefer to call it
Name: Lilly
Name you wish you had: anything more exotic than this one...my daughter has names i wanted at some point...Jazmine & Anastasia
The last person you slept with: my darlin'
Beer or Liquor: beer is disgusting and i don't drink liquor...last drink i had was a nice Malbec
Children: 2...Ian Zachary (soon to be 3), and Jaz (see above) (soon to be 1!)
If you had one wish what would it be: for Utopia
Tampons or pads: yyyeeeeeeeaaaaah...please, that would gross ME out...
Favorite sex symbol: sex symbol?? haha Sean Connery! (most men these days look like women...blech!)
Biggest Druggie you know: oh i could so get in trouble for saying what i wanna say...heh
A cup or D cup: does anyone really need to know this? it's more than one D and i ain't sayin how many
Cappuccino or Coffee: Espresso...no foam
Sex or Food: Sex...silly question
Does size really matter: only if it hurts...
Shape: Triangle!
Cherries or Strawberries: toughie...strawberries have more fiber (less carbs...) but cherries are soooooo delicious!!
Chocolate or Whip Cream: i'll just quote Heather here..."yes, please!"
Horses or Cows: what??? neither, they're both ugly, and why are we discussing farm animals?
Pigs or People: (Heather, your response killed me) um...people really...most of them smell better than pigs...but not all...hehe
Men or Women: Men...
Dodge or SAAB: toughie...Dodge...
Work or Play: work at play and play at work is what i say...
Man's best friend or Woman's best friend: both and neither
Mickey or Minnie: why? ok...mickey
Piglet or Pooh: pooh...though i always liked tigger best
Bed or Floor: for what? sleeping or...nevermind...bed
Couch or Chair: again...i must get my mind out of the gutter...couch!
Toilet or Tub: wtf? where do ppl get this shit? ok...tub!
Best Friends: Heather
Worst Enemies: like i have any? i'm too lovable for that! hehe ;)
Best Job: Mom
Worst Job: cleaning out the grease trap in a deli...ugh!
Black undies or White undies: black...don't do white much anymore
Tequila or Jack Daniels: tequila if i had to choose
Boxers or Briefs: how about boxer briefs? i like those!!
On Deck or Below Deck: huh? since when did we go sailing? or am i that dense??
69 or Doggie: no comment...heh
Dream Car: lotus...ever since "test drive"...
Type of car you drive: i don't, but my darlin' has a Dodge Ram charger thingy
Word or Phrase you overuse: "hehe"
Toothpaste: something by crest w/scope in it i think...
Favorite Restaurant: Ruth's Chris steakhouse
Romance or Ambiance: Romance all the way baby
Favorite town to chill in: NYC
Favorite Ice Cream: Dulce de Leche
What's your bed time: dunno, i tend to pass out at night...11-ish?
Favorite article of clothing: anything comfy...
Favorite Cologne/perfume: i need new stuff...gucci rush is the only one i have left
Favorite Song: "virtual insanity" jamiroquai
Favorite subject in school: mathematics
Least Favorite subject: phys ed
Favorite Sport to watch: Hockey!!!!!
Craziest person or funniest person you know: my darlin'
Most humiliating moment: the only one i can remember is not worth mentioning...something to do w/taking swimming in 5th grade i think
Favorite Holiday: christmas!
What kind of work do you want to do: just wanna be my own boss...
Marriage or Shack up: well, that's up to the individual, technically we are "shacked up", but my darlin' is my husband, no matter what...
If You Could Streak in front of someone's' house whose would it be: now why would i want to scare people like that?
Goofy or Regular: i like my coffee Goofy thanks...;)
Do you type with the correct fingers on the correct keys: yep...years of typing classes, baby...plus a mom who is a secretary
What is under your bed: the carpet
Do you prefer mud wrestling or J-ello wrestling: at least you can eat the jello afterwards...jello
Favorite Things to do in the winter: snuggle, but i'm a human furnace, so it's usually the other person snuggling me...which is fine by me
High School: Elizabeth High School (and Hillside for 9th & half of 10th)
Bacon Bits or Croutons: bacon....who said bacon??
Hobbies: jeez...why do ppl ask this? i dunno...picking my nose?
Favorite Board Game: Monopoly
Do you ever save AOL conversations: no, why would i?
What is the best number: 13
Where's the craziest place you've had sex: abandoned orphanage...seriously
Biggest regret: none
Favorite Shampoo or Conditioner: Redken All Soft
Do you believe in:
- Love at first sight: could be...
- Aliens: yep
- Ghosts: yep
Do you sleep with a stuffed animal: not anymore
Right, Left, Or Ambidextrious: Ambi, but prefer right

2003-03-31T14:16:00.000-06:00

hi everybody!!

sorry i sound like such a dork!

i didn't wanna write anything down to say b/c it would sound like i was reading...and i didn't want to sound like a total dork, but i'm pretty sure i do...as always, you never sound like you think you sound...i sound much more like my aunt Maria than i thought i did...but, that's that...not much else in the news...have a little work to do on the website...developing a new thing, and i'm not sure if it will be received well...so, w/that in mind, wish me luck!! :o) cya when i cya!

2003-03-31T09:52:00.000-06:00

fun, fun, fun...

well, i started off my birthday right w/a big ole cry in the morning...i always end up crying on my birthday for something or other, so it's best to get it out of the way bright and early... we *were* going to go out to dinner, but that was squashed due to being blackmailed regarding the childcare...SO...we got stuff from Sam's (wholesale place...) and planned to bbq and whatnot that night...well, that didn't happen either (what a shock), nor did i get anything for my birthday (that will come later)...except a check from my grandmother which i cannot accept...so, that was my fun day...had a better time on Sunday b/c we *did* get to bbq (mmmm...fajitas...caramelized onions...kielbasa...sauerkraut...mustard (w/horseradish!!)...mmmm) hehe...got wine too, but didn't open it up...will probably save it for another special occasion...(cheapest frickin' wine on the planet, but it tastes amazing, so i love it!!) don't know what else to tell ya...i'm reeeeeeally looking forward to kielbasa leftovers...(don't ask, i just love the stuff...must be my german heritage or something) oh, and i had a big ole cheat last night (and on my b-day, actually)...last night i had an amazing eclair from Earl Abel's (diner style restaurant here in SA)...on my bday i tried a Moonpie (for the very first time)...i could easily live w/o the moonpie...it was good, but i've never been fond of marshmallow...but the eclair was divine...hehe...bad Lilly...bad!! all those carbs will put 1/2 an inch on my waist! ok, that *may* be an exaggeration...hehe anyway, time to get going...cya when i cya! :)

2003-03-28T23:44:00.000-06:00

so, this is it!

at precisely 3:36am this coming morning i will be 31 years old...isn't it exciting? hehe...

in other news

we will probably be going to Ruth's Chris again...don't know if we are doing anything else special...i wanted to take the kids to the zoo, but supposedly the weather's gonna be crappy...so, that will have to wait... i don't know how much weight i've lost since restarting Atkins...i know it's been slow going, but it's picking up now that i'm actually exercising! hehe... i've been using the pedometer thing and i will be lucky to get to 5,000 steps a day in a month! lol...i average about 1700 a day...which isn't bad, it's over half a mile, but i really need to improve on that...so, 10,000 steps a day in two months then...i can do it!! ;) hehe also, i'd like to know why i always lose weight around my middle first? my ass and thighs are always the last to go...bastages...i'm used to the ass thing by now (afterall, i'm half-brazilian...asses grow in my family, not shrink), but enough w/the thunder-thighs, dammit...my calves look all small and my thighs are just...bam! (blech!) *sigh* one of these days, when i'm a size 6, i'll look back on this and laugh...really i will...:-P anyway, major soreness from that Pilates bodyball workout...my abs hurt everywhich way...ugh...hurts to laugh, even, so you know i got to the deep muscles...feels good though, so i'm not complaining, just reporting! the oddest positions you find yourself in during that workout? try on your tummy, arms back holding your feet, pulling up on your feet and then rocking back and forth...yeah...crazy!! lol...anyway, great workout... can't think of anything else...i have one free trial of that audio post...any suggestions? wanna hear me sing? ;) hehe...masochists...cya when i cya!

2003-03-28T09:02:00.000-06:00

people must really think i'm stupid...

the worst part of being on aol is the spam...it's really annoying that people send you stupid zip files and they really think you're gonna download them...uh, helllloooo?? i'm not that dumb... another one, which i just got today, was from some chick saying i got an insta-kiss & to go to this page to get it...it was an angelfire page, so i was curious to see wtf (my curiosity will get me into trouble one day...) so, the page looks like an aol log-in thing and you have to put in your sn & password...do i have "idiot" tattoo'd somewhere? no...i don't...these people must be on crack, that's all i hafta say... oh, and i've also blocked the offenders who sent me stuff from aol sn's...dumbasses... cya when i cya...have lots of housework to do today...:) hehe

2003-03-27T13:11:00.000-06:00

Review: Pilates Bodyball Kit

yeah, i know i don't normally do "reviews" or anything like that...but i finally tried this workout and i wanted to tell someone about it...heh So, here we have a Pilates mat workout w/the addition of a 1 lb. "body ball"...the ball is rubber, fits in the palm of your hand and has the same texture as a basketball (grips well)...you wouldn't think a 1 lb. ball would make much of a difference, but WHOA NELLY! it sure does...the videotape included in the kit is hosted by Ana Caban who seems very down to earth and is easy to watch and listen to...she's not annoying like that Denise Austin chick ("c'mon! you can do it! one more! you know you can!" grrrrrrrrrrr.....), but this isn't an aerobic workout either...the moves are very slow and controlled, there is alot of stretching and flexing of muscles...i'm reasonably out of shape, and i was able to follow along w/most of the moves...the tape basically consists of Ana & another woman (doing the easier version of each move, so you can follow her instead of Ana if needed) doing the moves, while you hear Ana's voice giving instructions...no big production, no crazy stuff...just a nice, simple workout...now, don't get me wrong, this workout kicks ass...if you follow Ana (which i was able to do on some moves) you will really feel your muscles working...there is alot of focus on the abdominal muscles, but you work ALL of your muscles in this workout, trust me!! i was amazed at the positions i could put my body into (hush...keep your mind(s) out of the gutter) and the muscles i was feeling as i was doing the workout...i don't know if this is enough information for the average workout enthusiast, but i found it to be challenging w/o killing me, and very enjoyable...i'm looking forward to using it again! (and i still feel it in my ab muscles, so i know i'm gonna be sore as hell tomorrow) the kit provides the ball and a VHS version of the workout (wish they had DVD)...all you need is comfy clothes and either a mat or a reasonably well carpeted area to work out on... i highly recommend the Pilates Bodyball Kit...A+++

2003-03-27T08:31:00.000-06:00

for those that love memes

go check out Jake's weekly 3XThursday...i won't bore you w/my answers, but he always has great questions...cya later...i'm a busy woman today...hehe

2003-03-26T18:58:00.000-06:00

AOhelL...really?

the other day i noticed a thingy to block pop-ups while using the browser provided by AOL...so, i set it up and tried it...and by golly, it actually works...almost makes the torture of using AOL bearable...that is all...cya later...

2003-03-26T13:15:00.000-06:00

wow...look at what a few linkies can do!

a couple of people link to you, and all of a sudden you find yourself loaded w/hits...amazing...don't be shy people...you can comment if you like...no need to be a member...or put in your email or site...just type your "name" and go...lol funny...

audio

saw a link to make an audio blogger entry (i think it's only 2 minutes)...might try it later if i get bored...hehe

also in the news

my birthday is coming up...i will be *cringe* 31 years old...never thought i'd make it this far...when i was little i used to hope i'd die by 40...fortunately (or unfortunately, depending on YOUR view), i have quite some time left on this little ball of...well, whatever our planet is made out of...mostly metals, right? i read too much sci-fi, can't remember what's real (or not)... anyway, so i've been doing some thinking...(scary, isn't it?) and i've come to the conclusion that things can only get better from here on out...i mean, i've been through it all...death, cancer, loss of all possessions, homelessness, betrayal (omg...if *that* hasn't reached its apex, i'm gonna go nuts), suicide attempts, hopelessness, depression, etc. you get the picture...wtf is left but for me to die? that's the only thing i haven't experienced...so, rather than wait for THAT to happen, i'm just gonna enjoy the rest of this ride and see what life has to bring me...can't be any worse than what i've already handled, and if i handled that mess, i can certainly breeze my way through whatever's left... so, there ya go...my philosophy..."bring it on, baby!" hahaha...ok, so i'm nuts, leave me alone, at least i'm smilin'... cya when i cya people...i'm outta here...

2003-03-25T08:38:00.000-06:00

whadya think?

some time ago i coloured my hair BACK to it's natural colour...been thinking about adding blonde highlights or going blonde-r...i know i have no pics for you to go by, but i wanted to ask if highlights are outdated now? i'd be doing them myself...hehe...i'm such a "frankenstein"...i love experimenting w/my hair...if i don't colour it, i'm gonna let it grow out (natural) and perm it (myself) on huge ass rollers so i can get really big waves...opinions? anyone?? ;) cya later...

2003-03-24T09:02:00.000-06:00

life...

well, it certainly has been keeping me busy! lol...my darlin' & i rearranged our room on Sunday, and i still have things to put away... gotta go exercise, i was lazy and didn't do anything all weekend...bad Lilly! bad! ;) i've been working all weekend on the website too...and it's "nearly" finished...actually, it really is finished (i have to put the jewelry up, but that's it)...just needs a little tweaking, but it is functional...i'm debating different design elements (i.e., make a nav bar or just put a row of links at the bottom of the page) and the only other thing i haven't really done is check for browser compatibility... i discovered that there is a blog function available from a partner of the webhost i chose...i signed up, so if i can get it to work and look good, i'll probably just leave this up w/a link to the new blog...or keep the other blog for other stuff...who knows? oh, and for Heather...i painted my nails a "natural beige"...they got chewed up and stuff recently (you remember what i do to my fingers, don'cha?), so i don't want to draw too much attn to them...i've been using that "liquid bandage" stuff to let them heal, and so far it's working pretty good!! well, the kiddies had breakfast, and now it's time for da mama... cya when i cya...

2003-03-21T18:12:00.000-06:00

blah, blah, blah...

not much going on today...just working on the website & feeding/playing with/watching the kiddies...oh yeah, and i painted my nails...woohoo! (haha...i'm not *that* excited now...) so, i'll hopefully have more for you another day...i don't think i will be moving this blog afterall, even though i like the bene's of having on one's own server...we shall see... cya when i cya!! :)

2003-03-20T18:41:00.000-06:00

win the lottery? i wish!! hehe

no, the recent spending spree was not brought upon by any stroke of luck...unless you call getting your tax return lucky...b/c that was the ONLY reason we had any money to spare...sucks, doesn't it?

astrology...

this will be of absolutely no interest to anyone, i'm sure, but i checked my transits today on astro.com, and i found some answers to what's been going on, as well as some good news! so, i thought i'd share...you might be going through the same thing, afterall...(all of the following is copywrited by Astrodienst AG...just thought i'd let you know)

Uproar Valid during many months: A series of sudden and unexpected events will probably strain your nerves to the utmost, making this a difficult time. This is most likely to happen if you have spent the last few years trying to please everyone. Any turmoil in the outside world is merely an indication that you have been seething inside for quite some time. Although it would be understandable if you now felt like packing everything in, this is certainly not the best solution. You will find it hardest to tolerate hypocritical and sanctimonious behavior - whether your own or others'. It is therefore important to clear the air and to honestly consider which aspects of your life reflect your authentic inner nature. This influence will help you to scrutinize your ideals and visions, and to take your leave from those which are no longer relevant to any important decisions you have to make. For example, you might find that a political party or like- minded group of people of which you were once a member has lost its appeal. A clear decision to take all your imperfections seriously, and not to make lazy compromises, can be both healing and liberating, helping to give birth to new things in your life. Chiron Square Uranus activity period from 22 February 2003 to 22 December 2003.

Flights of fancy Valid during many months: This rather subtle influence particularly helps those who, whether in their private or public lives, are confronted with the physical or psychological suffering of others. This can at times allow profound insights into those metaphysical dimensions which usually remain closed to the conscious mind, and which indicate that all suffering is subject to certain principles. You are now less concerned with your daily achievements than with understanding the meaning behind them. If you are suffering in any way, wholistic remedies or forms of therapy are far more likely to help you than any treatment which merely tries to fight the symptoms. You may learn that someone you know has been greatly helped by homeopathic treatment, or that yoga has eased their back trouble. Help and relief are now likely to come in the form of subtle hints or things mentioned in passing - if you don't overhear them. This influence could make you feel more relaxed and confident, particularly if you have gone through a testing time recently. If you have to deal with situations which are both challenging and difficult you will now find it easier to take time out or withdraw. You could treat yourself to more short breaks, or spend more time in natural surroundings. You might also discover creative talents such as painting, writing or music which could help you to find new strength. You will now have better access to your world of inner images and imagination, and inner affirmation and dream journeys could lead to healing experiences. Neptune Sextile Chiron activity period from 9 March 2003 to 5 January 2005.

Extrasensory perception Valid during many months: This influence stimulates your imagination in a creative way, giving you greater inspiration and an immediate grasp of ideas that are usually too subtle for the intellect. And you are better able to communicate these subtle ideas to others and give people some understanding of what you are seeing now. This can be a very creative time if you are interested in art, music or poetry. If you have any latent psychic ability, this influence is quite capable of activating a kind of extrasensory perception within you. Certainly it increases the level of your sensitivity, and you are much more able to understand what others are trying to communicate to you. Previously these ideas have been too difficult to comprehend, requiring too much intuition and subconscious understanding. Now, however, you get an immediate idea of what they are feeling. With your imagination so aroused, the everyday world may not seem very interesting, and you may begin to dream of strange regions in your mind where you can escape. But if you tie yourself down to earth long enough, you will discover that the world of your normal life can be fascinating in its own right. This is such a great opportunity to understand aspects of the world that you could not usually comprehend; you shouldn't waste it by wandering into a private world that has no relevance to anything else. Because of your increased ability to communicate the spiritual or psychic experiences in your life, this is a good time to teach others what you have learned. At other times it may have been difficult to convey to people anything more than the outer shell of your experience. Now, because of the vividness of your imagination, you are able to make them feel your experiences. It may be useful to associate with other people who are having similar experiences so that as a group you can teach others what you know. Neptune Sextile Mercury activity period from 24 February 2003 to 23 December 2004.

i found the last one particularly interesting considering what i do...but in either case, i don't have much else to share today...i've been making "mock" orders on the website i get my jewelry findings from and have been trying to calculate exactly what i need and what i want...hehe...the two being very different aminals...;) anyway, hope everyone is a-ok...cya when i cya!

2003-03-19T07:36:00.000-06:00

i'm happier than a pig in sh*t! hahaha

so, would you like to know why?? sure you do!! hehe last night me and my darlin' went out sans kiddies! :) woohoo!! we went to Ruth's Chris Steakhouse and had a fabulous dinner courtesy of my darlin's boss (he gave us a giftcard)...i was highly impressed and so was my darlin'...so we have a new favourite restaurant! ;) (btw, the restaurant is VERY "Atkins-friendly"...the entire menu is a la carte, so you don't HAVE TO have any naughty stuff w/your meal if you don't want it! woohoo!) and then we went to Target...i bought:

a yoga mat
some small weights
a Pilates bodyball kit (that's the small ball, not the big ole balance ball thingy)
a pedometer (so i can keep track of my steps and get to a goal of 10K-a-day within a month)
clothes for my babygirl (got the boy clothes a short while ago)...two jean shorts, a yellow (onesie) shirt & a purple one...and a really pretty light blue outfit (pants and shirt)...she looks best in those colours...pink doesn't flatter her much, but then, she has my colouring, and it never flattered me much either...i really like her in blue! ;)
got a pair of capris for me and a french blue square collar shirt...gotta keep up w/my disappearing waistline, ya know? hehe
got six movies...older ones: Rob Roy, Point Break, the Matrix, Lock Stock & Two Smoking Barrels...newer ones: The Ring, Unfaithful...

and theeeeeen, we went to B&N...i got some really good books: The Four Agreements by don Miguel Ruiz (b/c Heather's read it & indicated she found it very helpful); Communion with God by Neale Donald Walsch (same guy that wrote Conversations with God); Crafting as a Business by Wendy Rosen (an absolutely necessary resource guide for anyone wanting to do such a thing); and Creative Bead Jewelry by Carol Taylor (good for tips and ideas)... all in all, it was a fabulous night...we got home at 11pm & the kids had just gone to sleep (well, Jazmine had, Ian was out for awhile)...we were both still awake, so we watched "Lock Stock & Two Smoking Barrels" and then my darlin' passed out while my mind rattled on for some time...i'm not sure when i fell asleep, but it was definitely after 1am, i know that... anyway, time to feed the kiddies and all that jazz... oh! i also got my website set up with dreamhost...i'll be very busy in the coming month building it & reading all these great books...almost got a relaxation kit too (w/aromatherapy pillow and CD, woohoo!) but felt it was a little silly...maybe next time...hehe...cya when i cya!!

2003-03-18T13:58:00.000-06:00

well, i guess i wasn't missed, eh?

oh well, better for me i guess...now i can write all the stuff i wanted to write...hehe so, do we all remember my statement that i wished to write about my younger years, what i remember of them that is, and my mom pitched a cow b/c she thought i was just gonna bitch and moan about her? like she's the only person that hurt me...yeah, right!! anyway, i got to thinking...shortly after my grandfather (her father) died, my mom went through this period where she was writing out her whole life story, ya know? i mean she was filling up legal pads, typing on the word processor (it was a long time ago), etc....she went on and on about all the hurtful things that had happened to her...so, i don't think she has any right to bitch about what i may or may not write, nor does anyone have the right to bitch about whether i allow people to comment or not... in either case, i don't know whether i need to write all that stuff out or not...but i do know that if i am having problems w/something in my life, that i will delve into the root of the problem and most likely post it here (unless it's too personal to share w/you people), which may include rehashing childhood events... i do not have a memory like a great writer i know, and i can't quote quotes for the most part...but i remember feelings and emotions quite well...i have "blocked" most of my memories from the past, and i'm thinking it may be time to unlock some of them...maybe they might give me a clue on why i do certain things and how i can change them...i've always been able to identify most of my problems and the root cause of them...but changing them, solving the problem, has always been difficult... the biggest problem i have at the moment is depression...i get hit with it alot...i may feel great one day and shitty the next, for no apparent reason...i know that it is very possible that i have a chemical imbalance in my brain (especially when you consider that my mother did not 'completely' abstain from drinking, smoking or doing drugs (marijuana) while she was pregnant w/me [she 'cut back']...my father did the same, so that would have affected me as well...damned 70's!! heh)...so, i've been considering going to a doc about Zoloft to see if it might help...for the moment, i'd prefer to be able to solve the problem w/o drugs...so, i have a list of books i'm going to read in order to bring me to a "happier place"...i'll post the list if anyone is interested, and keep you updated as to my progress and whatnot... for the past few months, my personality has been changing somewhat...i do not know if this is permanent or not, but there have been complaints and i want to eliminate those...i have discovered a "power" that i, previously, was unaware of...and that is the power to stand up for yourself...it's been hard learning how and when to wield it however, so i am struggling...must be something to do w/my Pluto, eh? hehe...anyway...enough blabbering... much love to you all... oh, and you people from denmark that keep spamming my guestbook better cut it out...i haven't visited any of your websites, nor do i plan to...thanks, but no thanks...from the referrals i've been getting, they must be porn sites, and *that* is one thing i do not need...(nor do i need a bigger penis or bigger breasts, thanks! just in case you needed that information) ok, cya when i cya!!

2003-03-17T20:03:00.000-06:00

so, didya miss me?

well, i've been gone over a month, almost two...did any one miss me? ;) my hiatus was not voluntary, i assure you...but i won't bore you folks w/the details...suffice it to say that i am back! :)

in the news...

i am no longer working ("hard for the money!" sing Donna, sing!! hehe) in the outside world... my mother-in-laws surgery went well, she is on the road to recovery... i have discovered the joys of domesticity...i actually HAVE to make the bed everyday, otherwise i feel like a slob, and i actually vacuum the bedroom every week, and do the laundry twice a week...i even take out the trash everyday...i don't know what's wrong w/me, but no one is complaining...hehe the jewelry business is coming along, i will be purchasing a new digital camera soon and building a website for my work...i will also be placing most of my creations on auction at ebay.com so look for links in the future... the location of this weblog will probably change as well once i have a domain again...i will post that information as soon as i have it :) i have officially seen Lilo & Stitch 50 times...it's pretty cute and my boy and girl like it speaking of which, pics of the kids will come shortly...Ian is getting bigger each day, and so is my babygirl Jazmine...Jazmine will be nine months on March 3rd and Ian is 2 1/2 going on 3 (in July, both kids are July babies)...Jazmine's curls are straightening out some, but i think that has more to do w/the humidity down here than anything else and she definitely has her mama's eyes :) Ian is getting his clothes in the boy's dept already, so you know he's a big kid! if things work out w/the jewelry biz, i'm going to work at that at night and home school the kids (and keep house in between) by day...this way if the kiddies are capable of learning more earlier (like i was) i can teach them at that level and not let them get bored...as well as add things to their curriculum that they may find interesting that the school may not teach for a grade or two, ya know? i'm hoping to make them multi-lingual as well...:) that's about it for now...i'll be back w/more in the near future, i promise! hope everyone is ok! i'll cya when i cya!!

2003-01-28T20:47:00.000-06:00

hmmmmmmmm........

well, it seems as though i've been rather "combative" lately...raring for a fight, that is...even got all hot under the collar on an astrology bulletin board i frequent...today at work a co-worker pissed me off, and frankly, i don't wanna be there anymore... i wanna be home...making jewelry...giving people readings...helping them out... when my MIL has her surgery, i will HAVE to stay home...so, that's that! but at least i will still be able to make money... signed up w/a free webhost for now, and will have a tarot site back up soon...i am also working on the flea market thing...and hopefully, once i get some really good pieces made, i will be able to sell my jewelry (small stuff at flea market & big stuff on ebay...and maybe even consignment shops...we'll see...) so, there ya go...i will be able to make enough money to pay off all my debts, get stuff for my kiddies, and (crossing fingers) even have enough for a "getaway" w/my darlin'... not much else for news...lots of stuff i could say, but nothing i really WANT TO say...ya know? so, i shall cya when i cya!! :) take care, everybody!!